today i have been having a very hard day,. a sad day a day filled with anger and nasty shouting at me,. why i don't have a clue, today started out stressed, hubby was grumpy as usual, son was on a lets see how much i can agrevate my parents day and for some reason, even the cats were mean and grumpy. why can't i have a day filled with niceness instead people being so darn mean, i wanted to just cry today, my hubby and i while we have not been getting along really well, i thought we had reached a understanding. guess i was wrong, i know i am not perfect, and maybe i could do more but why does he have to be so mean, i am sad this year anyways, i found myself the other day buying my mother her favorite perfume, only when the clerk asked me if i wanted it gift wrapped did i realize what i had done, then of course i felt like a idiot,.
it seems that the more stress there is the more it happens, know what i mean? i honestly feel that no one gives a darn anymore in my family, my gosh i have more care and concern from my online friends than anyone, people who i have never and probably never will ever get to meet, treat me with more kindness and care than my own family, thats so sad, i sometimes wish i could walk out on my family, just pick up and leave, leave the anger and pain away. it seems that ever since i got hurt(6 1/2 years ago) that my life has become a living hell, this isn;'t a pity party either, i know things happen and you deal with it, but why does it have to be sooooo angryand things said with such meanness and hatred, yes hatred, thats how i feel, guess its because i am a burden on my family, i try sooo hard not to b a burden and ask for their help, but i also am human and i need some care and love. i want to thank all of my friends who while we don't see each other and most likely never will meet, a thank you from the bottom of my heart for cheering me up. you are why i get up in the morning with a smile on my face,. not my family who gives me nothing but grief. thanks for caring my friends. i wish i could give you a bunch of hugs abd return to you what you have done for me, k enough whining and yes i know it was. i guess some day things will be better i hope. just thinking that the world is this bad is just about more than i can deal with, k signing off with tears. god bless you my friends, i love you all
p.s the shawl you see at the top of this page was made by one of my best online friends, she knew i needed a hug and she made this out of her own pattern to cheer me up. thanks tammie love, i love it sooo much
3 Comments:
The shawl is gorgeous.
I know what you mean hun and am sorry you have had such a rough time.
It seems that no matter where you are or who you are there are those who think you should be something you aren't.
This year has been rough for alot of people. I hope your next year is a better one.
I cannot offer any advice on dealing with family or people in general becasu eI am at a loss myself. I seem to be lacking in that department myself.
But please smile and know that you have firneds online who love you!
thanks kari, i was having a bad bad day on saturday, my hubby was being a total jerk and yesterday when i would not talk to him, he realized how man i was at him and apologized.
my life is hard enough with other people being such idiots, but when the man i loved and married almost 30 years ago starts, then its time to stop it, while i can not leave right now, i have no place to go or money to get there, i refuse to let him treat me this way again. if he does he is the one who will be out. not, me, the funny thing was'he was furious at his dad for treating me theway he did, then hubby did the same blasted thing. oh well life goes on, i am glad you like my ornaments, i had to make some and have a few more to make, if i get them done in time(by sat) i will send you one so you have a special angel for your tree, i appreciate that i have you to call friend. hugs and love bac, hope your feeling much better. today i got another lovely suprise from another awesome friend. fran made me a beautiful shawl with the acrylic mohair she bought from me the stinker. omg is beautiful all blues and greens, and just soft as sin hehe hugs hon and hope your days are going good, hang in there it will get better
ttysoon alright?:D
awww thank you darling, i will do just that, i have been so blessed with all the people who have taken the time to send me so many lovely things, i take turns using them all hehe i miss you too darl and love you dearly :D
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