i just want to say thank you

to all of you who are reading this, you are all so special to me, i feel so very blessed to have had the chance to get to know you all. i feel so blessed to call you friends. i can not thank you enough for being here for me, for those of you who sent cards and letters thank you so much, it means more than i can say, and for the person who sent me the insperational books, i look at them daily and think good thoughts of our friendship.

today we finalized the arrangments and now only have to worry about the food, which we are looking into maybe getting catered as non of us really wants to stress about food, but i know will be a large turn out for mom, she was well loved by many people and i know she would be happy to see how great you all have been to me.a week and 2more days to go, then she can rest in peace and we can mourn and then slowly let go, my uncle richards service is this saturday and i am going to do my very best to be there for my auntie. she and my uncle are like my parents away from home, always there to lend a helping hand, or offer advice or just to laugh with. i shall miss him horribley, along with my mom, i am so glad we became friends and not just mom and daughter. again as i write this i feel such a overwhelming sense of love and care from all of you. god bless you all and keep you in his care. huggggs i love you all

why are people like they are

i have found that i have many many friends on crochetville, people who care about me, who are concerned for me and who talk to me, others i find are nothing short of rude. for instance the other day i was in chat,with several people, everyone said hi, me including to these people and they made a point to say hello to everyone BUT me, this puzzles me as i have not even spoken to these people in a while and certainly have not had bad words with them. is odd who you think is your friend and they ignore you. i was not alone in noticing this, another friend was there and also noticed. well i just wanted to ask why people do this. i am curious. is it because they think i am not talking to them, this would not be the case as i used this persons name. oh well their loss.

today i went out and mailed a package to my friend donna, i made her and her girls a poncho for the girls each and a shawl for her. i hope she likes them. also send a few suprises for the kids. today was kind of hard, i tried to go about my day and just not think about mom and uncle richard, but it did not work., i suppose that with time it will get better. i just want to thank all of you who have been so very kind and caring. i never knew i had so many wonderful friends on the ville' thank you each and everyone of you. god bless and keep you always and if you don't believe in him/ thats alright too. good thoughts and wishes then for you huggggs for you all though.

my uncle richard

today as i was talking to my sister about the arrengments for my moms funeral, she told me that our uncle keith had called her and told her that our dear uncle richard passed away this morning of a massive heart attack. i shall miss this kind, caring funny man, i don't think i have ever ever seen him anything but smiling. i am sure there were times, but i sure don'tremembre any of them. he was born the same day as my daddy who died 5 years ago . thier birthday was may 8th. please pray or send good thoughts for my dear auntie bonnie and cousins patsy, sharon, karan, and shelly. these girls will stand by their mom of course, but they also need prayers and good thoughts. i hope tomorrow all i have to blog is that i finished the poncho i am making :->, thank you again all of you you do not know how much your careing words and awesome friendship means to me. god bless you and keep you in his care. remember to tell the person you care about and love, that you do, i tell my hubby and kids every day, i love you i miss you when your gone i love you all of you guys. thanks so much for being my friend huggggs

my mom

today my mom passed away. she was 69 years old, i am just overwhelmed with all of the kindness you all have shown me. i just feel so loved and cared about. i knew mom was getting worse, and actually last night i prayed for over a hour just that the lord would bring her home and end her suffering, and now she is watching over me. my family has taken this really hard. but i talked with my baby sister at length today and we know that while we are all hurting and the pain of it is severe, that mom is not hurting, she has no pain, she has no suffering, and most of all, she got to go to heaven. some day i will be there, and i can only hope i was a good enough person to get into the pearly gates. my daughter i think has taken it the hardest. she loved her grandma dearly, and while i know she will be alright, please think about her and maybe say a prayer for her or send a good thought for her. her name is kristy. you know life is so short, we are born, we grow up, move out get married(at least i did) have kids(again me speaking) and the life cycle goes through. while my kids were very fortunet to know their gr grandparents, i did not get that chance and i am so thankful my kids did. they have so many good memories of grandma and papa(my dad), they know that they were so proud of them, that they were always there for them, just like you guys are for me, i can not tell you how much that means to me, so all i can say to you guys tonight, is thank you for being my friend. for letting me talk, for listening to me when i need it. i feel so very blessed. god bless all of you my wonderful friends. i know i can talk to you and you will just listen and help me as i will and try to do any of you who needs a ear. boy do i talk though LOL hugggs to all of you. take care and thank you again all of you

woooohoooo superbowl here we come!!!!

today something happened that most everyone i know has said would never happen. the seattle seahawks,(or seachicken's as some called us :( grrrr) took the nfc championship game here in seattle against the carolina panthers, while most people think the steelers are going to tromp us, i disagree. i mean miracles do happen and since this is the first time in franchise history we have ever gotten this far, does it not make sense that we are going to go in with thing we have. we were rated last, now we are one of the elite 2, the 2 teams who will face off on feb 4th, in detroit michigan. oh how i wish i could send my hubby and son, there will be some contests by the radio stations i am sure so i will do my best to win them tickets. we will provide the air fare and the accomadations(THEY will go stay with family who live close to detroit!!!) so for all you people who doubted the seahawks all these years. i say to you, WE ARE THE ONES GOING, NOT NEW ENGLAND, NOT CHICAGO, NOT ANY OF THE OTHER TEAMS, DENVER,CAROLINA NO ONE BUT US!!! and the steelers which i grant are a awesome team, but i think we can beat them. on to bowl stardom we go. GO HAWKS YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

thursdays moments

hi ya all, how ya doing this fine thursday, i am beat, what a day i had, first i took my sons car into the dealership for brakes, we had taken it to a place called walts and i would not pay what they wanted. it was so stupid. they tried to tell me he needed this and that, and while i am not a mechanic by trade, i also know my cars and i knew his brakes were not all that bad as they tried to make them be'. they told me i would have to have the rotars replaced intstead of resurfaced(it did not need it), and that his rear wheel cylinder was also bad and that they had to replace that. all to the tune of over 750.00 which i thought was a bit steep. just a wee bit :0<, so i had called the chevy dealership where we bought the car and asked for them to look at it and tell me how much work it needed and how much money it was goingto cost. well for my son to get all of his brakes done, front and rear, was only about 382.00, a far cry from the esrimate i got at walts i am seriously thinking about turning them into the attorney generals office for fraud. thats just so wrong to say that it is worse than it is, just so they make more money and that was excatly why. grrrrrrrrrr


on another note today i found out that my nephew is going to be coming up next week for about 4 days so he can see my mom and all of us, he is so excited and i am too, been so long since i saw him been 11 years now he has been away from home.

i finished the little bear for lilly, val said she likes pink and am sending her a blanket with hearts crocheted in it and this little bear. he is a cute bear. i enjoy making stuffed animals and need to make more of them this year. the need has been great for these little fellows . i want to make some and donate them also to the fire department and the police. nothing brings a smile to a childs face faster than a teddy bear or stuffed animal period. last year when i made all of those little animals they went so fast. . this year i am thinking of a whole new zoo of animals including sea life and even birds maybe, what ever my creative ideas come up with loL lol lol, well my dear friends i am exhausted, need sleep, have not had much all lasr night or even the night before. so until tomorrow i say to you. god bless you all and hugggggggsss

more prayers needed and good thoughts too

i found out today that my nephew who i told you had stomach cancer and they caught it before it could spread, found out that the lab and the doctor lied to him, his cancer is spread to his intestines. i am so worried about him. i have been doing some research and it does not look good for him at all.. i can only pray that they will be able to remove or kill the tumors which have spread. when i asked him how they did not know this when he had the biopsy, he said they somehow lost his records and that while they told him the results were negative, they were in fact positive. how can a stupid doctors office screw something up sooo bad, they also over radiated him when he was having radiation and now he has heart damage. please pray or send good thoughts or meditate or whatever you all do to send good wishes to michael. i pray he is healed and that he will have relief soon from his pain. god bless and thank you for listening to me. i am so stressed right now don't know if i am coming or going with the amount of bad things in our family, but we we also will not give up. when the going gets bad the strong know how to fight and we are stronger than we look. thanks for listening and reading this. i am hoping to soon have good news to report. god bless and take care. hugggggs

prayers needed now

tonight i am asking you keep my friend val and her family in your thoughts and prayers. val's daughter lili who i think is 7 years old, has some type of growth in her head on her brain, and they have to wait for 3 to 4 weeks to find out what it is. please include this wonderful family in your prayers. and send positive thoughts her way if you don't believe in prayer. just send all the positive energy you can and think all the positive thoughts in hopes this child will be healed. god bless you for doing this for my friend

i have good news

lil sis called me, tonight, seems like our dear mother, who the doctors said might not ever walk again, has been walking with her walker down the halls of the hosptial. she is also getting grouchy, and being her usual grumpy self. she wants to just go to my sisters house right away, but the docs, my sis and bil all say no, she needs to be able to take care of herself to the point of getting up and down by herself, getting herself to the bathroom ect. as my lil sis has a really bad back also. but she is improving and proving all the docs wrong who said she would not make it till the new year ect. thats my mommy LOL lol, thank you everyone for all your kindness and care of me and my family. god bless all of you. and huggggs from me

update

i talked to my sister today, and she said mom was a little better. mind you she is not going to GET better, but she was feeling a little better. they did dialisis again today, which helped her alot, she has a urinary tract infection so they started her on antibotics today. what the plan now is she will be in the hospital until monday or tuesday, then she will be released to a rehab center, in hopes that she can at least get strong enough to walk a bit so she can go and live with my baby sister. her and her husband both agreed they wanted mom to live with them, which i think is fantastic, i know will be hard and i will of course do all i can to help them(wether it be making things to eat or also maybe even helping with the grocerys) mom did NOT have a stroke, thanks be to god for that. she is however extremely weak, the doc said if she had not come in last night. she would have died last night at home/in pain, with no one to help her as my other sister who is suppose to help her(she lives at moms rent free) decided it would be so much more fun to go party. can you tell i am mad? well i feel a little more at peace knowing that mom is going to at least get the care she needs, if she don't like it there, she will have to suck it up and work hard tp get well enough to walk, my baby sis has a very bad back also and of course could not lift mom, even though she only weighs 78 pounds, this is just horrible to see,. my mom has always been fairly thin, but not this thin. i just needed to update you, any of you who read my blog and pray, please pray that mom does not suffer anymore, and if you don't pray, thats alright too, not everyone does, but would appreciate your good thoughts for her that she not suffer anymore than she has to. thanks for being here for me and listening to me whine. i just needed to get it out. now i want to wish you all a happy weekend and in case you don't know it, the seattle seahawks are going to kick washington redskins butt LOl super bowl bound here we come LOl hugggs to you all, thanks for listening and letting me vent. hope you all have a awesome weekend

i am so sad

tonight my baby sister called me with horrible news, she had gone out to see our mom, and said she would call me when she got home, well she did not call so i thought well maybe she fell asleep or something i will call her tomorrow. just then the phone rings, its her, she tells me that her and my bil took my mom to the hospital, she looks awful, she is swollen to 3 times her size as she has not had dialisis, she has been to weak to go, and when my sis and bil got out there to take her some food, they could see how weak she was, how terribly she is suffering, her core temp was 94.5, her bp was way to high, 190/120,her heart was racing at almost 100bpm(beats per minute), she is dying, i know it, have known it, but i am pissed, this sucks, why does mom have to suffer, why can't god just bring her home to his loving arms., i know when mom passes, will be because it is her time, but tonight i prayed that god would take her. i prayed that he would stop her suffering, stop her pain, and give her her freedom she no longer has. is this wrong of me, i feel so guily for thinking this way. i am just heart broken not knowing what to do. my nephew is in texas, wants to come home, there is not any money for plane/bus/or train rides. he is heart broken too. he and his grannie are very close after all, he is the first born grandson. i just needed a place to vent and hope i did not offend anyone by saying i wish god would bring her home to heaven, what is so wrong with this world that when animals are suffering like this with no hope, they will let them go to sleep forever. but they won't people
thats wrong. the laws need to be changed to allow people who are dying to die with dignity. i know thats not even a good thing to suggest as it will truly be gods will when she passes, but why not let someone out of her agony. i am crying tonight, not just for myself, and yes i am doing that too selfishly, but i am crying tonight because of the way my mother is having to live her last few hours on earth. thanks for listening and letting me vent. thanks to fran and trish and jacqui tonight for being there with me and giving me comfort, i love you guys. tomorrow darn well better be a better day, cause this one sucked(:>( i will stop in a minuent, but before i go, i have one request, that you look to the ones who you love the most, even if you are enstranged especially if you are. and thank god for letting you have the chance to make it better. i was one of the lucky ones. we made friends a lomg time ago and thank god we did. so i am off to bed. good night my dear friends, huggggs to you all.

lookie what i got today :)

as i got home today from fighting horrible traffic, horrific rain, idiotic drivers who were driving like it was a nice sunny day instead of a day filled with rain and mist so bad that you could not see 10 feet ahead of you, iwas soo glad to be home, when i came in the house after bringing my car into the backyard (which is where i park it LOL) i came in the house, and said any mail to my son, he says just a package, i said oh goodie, cause i am expecting a couple of things from different people, when i looked at it i saw was from my friend fran, who i ordered a little doll for my niece abbie's 3rd birthday. well she not only sent that adorable doll which i am trying to figure out a way to show you, but as usual my brain is not that with it, well it is after 12 so i guess thats why, yea thats it, i turned into a pumpkin after midnight ROTFL LMAO !!!! anyways when i opened up the package what did i find but this lovely poncho that fran knitted for me. i adore it, it is so soft and warm. gosh i can not believe how warm it is and i feel very blessed to have this fine woman as my friend. i also recieved from her a beautiful crochet hook, its a bejewled cat and was made by craft designs for you, there web site is

http://www.craftdesigns4you.com/crochethook/bejewelledhooks1105a.htm, i love it and have been using it all day since i got home from the car ride from hades lol, i also finished another shawl done in a brassy goldish colored chenille. oh my is it wonderful, this is yarn i bought from rodney and boy am i glad i did. here is a picture of it also. see above hehehe.
tonight chatted with fran and donna and some of my other friends on the board. i was saddend to hear about donna friend who has been diagonsed with brain cancer, i am going to try and help her and her family somehow. am thinking maybe a scarf/hat combo, or maybe a hooded scarf might work also. donna said she thought maybe she would like that. i am hearing more and more people being diagnosed with cancer , is just heart breaking, i will of course keep the people i know in my prayers and even those i don't, jesus knows them all and i will ask him to watch over them . fran also sent me the most lovely jasmine tea. oh my what a wonderful cup of tea that was. thank you again my dear friend.

i am working on another shawl, i know i know, i promise soon to make something else, but i just like making shawls and can always be used by people, i love the one trish made me last year and wear it often, now will have to switch off and on with the poncho and the shawl.i was bad today again. went to walmart and they had their brand of specialty yarn for under 3.00 a skein, i got maybe 12 skeins of it hehehe, plus some brown fun fur as i want to make a little stuffed bear i been thinking of, i also am debating wether or not to submit my patterns to crochet world. seems that the deadlines are coming up faster than i can think, so might wait till next year too LOL. well i suppose i should go as it is late and i am tired and have to have some ice cream before i go to bed, you ask why i HAVE to have it, well its like this, each time i lose 5 more pounds(which i did over the last month i treat myself to a yummy ice cream cone, tonight i am having black walnut. yummmmmm, is made by blue bunny and i am not sure if all of you can get that ice cream, but if you have blue bunny available, try it you will adore it soon and become like me, a ice cream addict, along with a yarn addiction hehehe. i know i need yarn like i need a hole in the head. well until tomorrow my wonderful friends. i bid you good night and send huggggggs to you all. god bless you all too :>)

thank god it is monday

i am so glad it is the 1st of the week, means that i can take the whole week to work on my projects . this last weekend we were not home hardly at all and i did not get much crocheting done at all. today i got my yarn from spincityarns. deborah is a good seller and very good about shipping and reasonable prices.this is what i got [ a rayon chili colored luminesce yarn, it sparkles so much, the other thing i got wasa eggplant colored yarn made of rayon colored luminesce, and also a black acrylic mohair. ]is just beautiful yarn, when i get my digital camera i will take some pics(don't hold your breath, going to take me a while to get use to it,. should be getting it this week if it was sent when it was said to be,) but mostly will take me a while to get use to it. well i am tired and hungry, i also want to work on my new shawl using the eggplant rayon yarn. will be awesome, i just wanted to tell ya all hello, and oh to tell ya, if your a football fan, the seattle seahawks are going to go to the superbowl LOL yeaaaaaaaaaa go hawks, not that i am that much of a football fan, but hubby is pretty pumped up about it so i will root for them too LOL well until tomorrow my dear friends i will talk to you then hugggs and peace to you all

more pics still

this is even some more pictures. i know there are duplicates on here but i am tired as it is after 2:30 am and need to go to bed. so will fix tomorrow LOL

and still more pics

more pictures

for some reason blogger would not let me upload all of these pics together so we will do it seperately

lookie what i made

this is a few of the things i have been busy making. most of these are for sale and if you are interested leave me a message. thanks and let me know what ya think of it all, and please be honest. if there is something you think you would like and don't see it, let me know as if i can i will make it for you, i don't charge alot so if ya are truly interested let me know. till tomorrow i send hugggggs

is it just me

i was just wondering if any of you think that there is a bad moon rising anywhere, i know its a song, but thats not what i am talking about. it seems like everyone is sniping at everyone. i mean why get upset about something that is stupid, and will blow over if ya let it. like for me, it seems no matter what i do, for some reason this week, is not good enough for my family. it seems like all they do is want me to work on this or on that and you know what i am not doing it period. i am tired i hurt, i need a freaking break. like tonight. hubby is watching tv and a special comes on about how walmart is ruining america, now i know walmart is not union and they pay their workers crap, but so does everyone else. if the presidents had not out sourced all of our jobs over the last 20 years we would not be where we are right now.i just hate when someone treats me like dirt cause i shop at walmart. he wants me to stop shopping there. i told him to stuff it. then later tonight i found out that where i had heard that 12 of the 13 miners in west virginia had been found alive. i now know thats not true. i learned instead, that 12 of the 13 had died. i feel so very bad for those families, i wish there was something i could do for them, sometimes i wonder why this earth is still here and jesus does not come back to earth to bring us all home to our heavenly fathers arms., sometimes i feel so overwhelmed i just want to shut myself up in a dark little windowless room and sit and be by myself. i mean why does this kind of thing happen. i heard the mine had been fined many times for safety violations, yet it was allowed to remain open? and why for the all might dollar, that the company makes. these people work extremely hard in very harsh conditions. they deserve better, i am sorry i am ranting. i just need to rant. i feel like right now i wish the world would stop and i could get off. i need ice cream, thats what i need. LOL is 1:20 am, here and ya know what, even though i have to get up at 6:30, barely 4 hours from now, i am going to eat some ice cream. then i will go to bed. sorry you had to listen to me rant and rave, i just needed to do it. now i feel better. hope your all doing alright an thinking of those you love and want to be with. life is way to short to deal with pettiness and sniping. god bless you all and i send hugggggs to all of you. from me

today i made alot of things

omgosh today i sat and crocheted almost all day and i finished 2 more scarfs and am almost done with a poncho done in a pretty blue. i am on a roll here lOl, well today actually started this after noon as i did not get up till after 12. hubby let me sleep in and guess i needed it. but omgosh was bad as the pain was horrible, took forever too for the meds to work, but i sat and crocheted to take my mind off of it. LOL looks like it worked too as i got so much done. we were suppose to take the christmas stuff down today but no one really felt like it and since our tree is a fake one is not a emergency type of thing so can enjoy the tree one more time lol, tomorrow i will finish my bill paying, wendsday go to the doc thank god for that, am so low on my meds not even funny. today was kind of sad also, hubby was reading the paper and saw that the man who ws instrumental in getting our son into the masters program where he teaches died on new years eve, predicitable, doug never said anything, but he will be missed by many people and i send our condolences to his family. my son is pretty broken up over his death as they had become not just mentor and student, but teacher to teacher friends. doug went out of his way to not only help my son, but thousands of other students and he will be missed. sorry but i had to say it, is the only way i can express myself about this awesome man.

after reading that this afternoon son was pretty quiet and then after wards we talked about how people don't always want to tell you when they are dying, that sometimes they just want to live till the end and be happy with the time they have. this man was like this. k enough said

i made 2 more scarfs today and like i said almost done with another poncho, took some pics with dd's camera(she let me borrow it, but she will upload it for me as i guess she don't trust me even now to do it right) gosh is not like i am a idiot or something, oh well at least she let me borrow it and will be posting some pics soon on the ville' and also here on my blog. well till tomorrow my dear friends i say hug those closest to you as you never know when something is going to happen so i am sending huggggggs and lots of them to all of you my dear friends and fellow hookers LOL yes hookers like in crochet hehehehe, till tomorrow i bid you adeu

new years resolutions?

hey ya all, me again, i know pest that i am, but ya know i am always looking to chat with ya all and learn new things. tonight i am curious as to whether you make a new years resolution or not. i use to, but i found i felt worse after i broke it, like i was a failure or something, so now i choose to not do it. last night we had our party and it went well for all, but oh gosh am i pooped out LOL, today sat and crocheted most of the day. although i played with the kitties alot too, was very windy and rainy today well the rain was off and on but the wind was something else. and the fur babies were all tweaked out, so tried to pay extra attention to them. little itsy decided she had had enough though and decided to chomp me , which i did not appreciate, as her little fangs have gotten much sharper LOL, well i am about ready to head to bed, so am going to say bye for now. hugggs to you all and hope you have a great day tomorrow and a wonderful new year. is the time to start anew and make it work for you. hugggs to you all

happy new years to you all

today is the first day of 2006. i hope that all of you have a awesome year, if last year was bad, forget it, its over, time to start anew. enjoy each day and never forget that you are thought about by someone somewhere and are not alone. i sit today and think about my life the last few years and while it has not been so awesome, it also has not been so horrible. good with bad, bad with good. my blessings this last year were many, even though each day i start the day in pain, i thank god i can actually feel the pain. what if i couldn't
what if i was paralized, see what i mean. take the bad in your life and make it better as much as you can. if your feeling down, go do something to help another person, volunteer, make a difference. i am thankful i still have my health other than the backpain, but i deal with this , it is the way it is, like others who are not even as lucky as me, i wish you all well, i wish that this world would become a place that we enjoy instead of complaining all the time. don't like it cause its broke, fix it and make it better. so today i end this with these words, wishes for good health, happiness, that this anger and pain in this world is somehow lessened because i want to make a difference. because YOU want to make a difference, i have deicided today that i am going to keep a journel of the days of the week and then i can look back and see where i can change and make it better. so to all of you who have taken the time to read this, i thank you, to all of you who are my family and friends. i wish you health ,happiness and all the crochet time and yarn in the world for you to be able to do when you want to, i send my wish of blessings to all of you, and hope that someone will feel the same way and wish for me to have the same things. god bless hugggs to you all and happy new year to all of you from me